Della and Dara: Hogwarts A HellStory
by Della Dara
Summary: only rated r because of swearing. (just being safe) Della and Dara on there first missoin from the evil demon Dooky are sent to hogwarts to save harry & co. we wont say why.... so you have to read it. muwahahahaha r&r plz


Della and Dara  
Hogwarts a Hell-story  
Disclaimer: luckily, we do not own Harry Potter, or anything else of significance, besides Della and Dara, so you're not allowed to kill us for  
character abuse, HA HA!  
Co-written by Nuna and Dust-Bunny  
  
((warning extreme bashing, do not read if you don't want to see half the  
characters good and bad made fun of, btw I am a big Harry potter fan so  
this is just for fun, not cause I hate series))  
  
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ IF THIS IS YOUR FISRT TIME READING A DELLA, DARA FANFICTION: Heres a short rundown on what happened in the first story (to read it go to fictionpress.com and type in Della, dara in the search) Della and dara are basically me and my friend when were self inserting ourselves into stories. Of course those aren't are real names 0_0 well we decided that it would be boring to just stick ourselves in a story, so we decided to make characters and give them personalities and a background story. In other words you get the fun of a self-insertion fic with a flavorful twist. Dara is my character and Della is my friends. Now since you probably don't want to go all the way to the other website to find out the basic plot so here is a little intro we'll post at the beginning of every new adventure. AND NOW. DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA DAAAAAAAA!!!!!! The plot: Della and dara are best friends. One day when dara is crossing the street to get an ice cream Sunday, she is tragically hit by a truck. Later in the hospital Della and dara are met by the horrible demon DOOKY, who promises to give them anything they want if they do him one simple task. Dara being as simple- minded as she is wishes for a chocolate Sunday and before Della can interfere, she makes a deal with the demon. Della and dara must now fulfill the demons task before they can receive there Sunday. And so we are proud to present: Della and Dara, AND THE QUEST TO ANNOY AMERICA!!!!!  
  
Chapter one: regurgitating toilets  
  
Della and dara were both at Dara's house sitting on her bed when Dara suddenly had a thought. "Della" she said slowly "how exactly are we going to annoy America if we have no way of getting from place to place." Della stared at the bed for a moment before answering. "Walk?" she then suggested.  
  
"Hmmm.. I dunno 'bout that Della it would be an awfully long walk and by then the ice cream Sunday will have melted." Della gave her friend a quizzical look. "Since when have you thought so much about anything?" Dara didn't answer for a long time and right when Della had suspected she wasn't going to say anything at all she suddenly burst out yelling all manner of crude things.  
  
"WE'LL KILL THEM ALL, MUWAHAHAHAHAHA ALL OF THEM WILL DIE THAT WILL ANNOY THEM, YEEEEESSSSS AND THEN I WILL HAVE MY SUNDAY AND EAT IT TOO. MUWAHAHAHA..." Dara stopped in mid sentence and started looking around torpidly. "Where was I.. I seem to have forgotten what I said in the last few moments.." Della just stared. "Oh yes!" said Dara suddenly "I was about to say I don't know" Della gave her a look as if she had fangs sprouting out her ears.  
  
Dara feeling slightly uneasy excused her self to the little boys room (yes dara is a girl) and didn't even close the door on her way in. Della still slightly confused turned to read a catalogue for "brain-dead oriental style" clothing company ((copyright of Beth. She knows who she is )) but unfortunately she was not able to stare blankly at the upside-down magazine for long because a scream suddenly issued from the bathroom.  
  
Having been unprepared to hear someone scream extremely loudly in just the next thin-walled, echoey room, she had done a sort-of half back-flip off the bed and hit the floor headfirst. Half-heartedly pulled herself off the floor and walked into the bathroom to find Dara staring at the toilet. "Dara what's wrong?" Della inquired. Dara just continued to stare at the toilet.  
  
Than suddenly with out warning she reached her hand in and splashed Della. Of course you can only imagine how that made Della feel. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM. PEOPLE SHIT IN THAT THING YA KNOW" hem hem. yes well.. You get the point.  
  
Della glared at Dara, who in turn glared at the toilet. Then dara spoke. "the toilet talked to me" she said. Della continued glaring. "then it told me to drink that bottle over there entitled "drink" and then when I get small to jump in the toilet and flush it"  
  
"And you splashed me, why?" said a peeved Della. "To tell the truth I'm not sure exactly why" dara confessed, as she went back to staring at the toilet. Than, out of nowhere (and again I'll remind you that lots of things happen out of nowhere in this series) dara suddenly yelled "THERE IT TALKED AGAIN" to which Della replied "riiiiiiiiiiight"  
  
then once again (this could get old) another thing happened out of nowhere. Something small and white popped out of the toilet and landed lightly in Dara's lap. Della and dara both blinked and stared at it a moment before Dara yelled. "OH ITS CANDY" and was about to pop it in her mouth when Della suddenly knocked it out of her hand.  
  
"Wah?" Dara said looking around at Della "what did you do that for?" Della looked at dara as if she was crazy. (of course I wouldn't be that surprised if she was.) "well first of all" said Della, "That could be a clue to what were supposed to do first, on the other hand it did come shooting out of the toilet." Dara, who seemed to be ignoring Della, popped it into her mouth anyway.  
  
"hmmm, this is different, it tastes like paste." Dara trailed off, as Della looked appalled. "And how would you know that?" Della asked, her face was contorted with fright. "Last Friday, in Fourth period, the teacher just happened to leave out a perfectly good bottle of paste, what was I supposed to do? Let it go to waste?" Dara sighed happily, enjoying her paste jellybean. "YOU ATE THE PASTE?!?!?!?!?" Della jumped about three feet into the air as she said this (isn't she talented, I can't even jump a whole two feet, let alone three) and sadly for her, landed with a loud THUNK upon her backside.  
  
And then, (promise this is the last time I'll do it) out of nowhere, a shower of various colored jellybeans shot out of the toilet bowl, along with a bag with the lettering 'Berty Bots Every Flavor Beans', Dara gleefully opened her mouth wide to catch the descending jellybeans; Della was too busy being in pain to be appalled with Dara this time. All of the sudden Dara spit half of the beans out of her mouth, and onto Della. "Nasty, that tasted like ear wax and snot!" Della didn't even want to bother asking this time, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" She screamed so loud that her neighbors next door jumped ten feet into the air (damn, these people got talent!) And landed in their sinks, (o.k., they're not THAT talented).  
  
Dara stared at her friend for a moment (You'd never guess, would you?) considering what she should say, and then replied, "Um, too many ear wax and snot flavored jellybeans?" "Like those actually exis." Della was cut off by a sudden rumbling, "What the." Then as she began a new sentence, she and Dara were sucked toward the toilet, then, as suddenly as they flew towards it, they flew INTO it. BUM BUM BUM! (Sorry, couldn't help it. If that annoyed you too much, give me your e-mail and I'll send you a donut, don't ask, you'll know when you get it.)  
NO longer in Della and Dara universe.  
  
Mr. Weasly looked curiously into the toilet bowl he was inspecting, "well," he began, "there doesn't seem to be any." All of the sudden two girls flew out of the toilet, landing on top of Mr. Weasly. Della looked around in awe, then realized she had fallen on top of some one, she got up and muttered "hello" as she continued to look around in awe. Then out of nowhere (Ha Ha, I lied) an owl began to rap on the window (NO, NOT RAP MUSIC!) Mr. Weasly tried to get up, when he remembered there was still a girl sitting on top of him. Instead, one of his co-workers went and opened the window.  
  
"Um, excuse me?" Mr.Weasly began, would you mind, um, getting off of me, miss?" Dara stared at him for a moment the screamed, "YOU MEAN SON-OF-A-BITCH PONY! WON'T GIVE ME A RIDE WILL YOU? FINE, GO EAT YOUR SMELLY HAY! I KNOW I'LL RIDE THE BUNNY'S! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (um. maybe this curse thing did affect Dara after all, I mean I know she has problem but. um.this is getting a little scary, even for Dara)  
  
Mr.Weasly looked extremely frightened, then screamed at the top of his lungs, "I need help, there's something wrong with this lady, get her off me!" Two burley security guards came to his aid, easily lifting Dara off Mr.Weasly; they used their wands of course, so I don't know why they were 'burley', freaks of nature. At this sight, Dara let out a shrill scream of delight. "I knew magic was real! I knew it! HA! Della, you owe me 1,000 dollars!" Della was suddenly shaken out of her daze at the mention of money, "Wha? O sure, right, whatever, you got it, I'll get that money to you in 2631, how's that sound?" Della mumbled sarcastically, 'This place is really weird' She thought to herself. "YAY! I'm rich! I'm rich!" Dara screamed enthusiastically, breaking free of the spell holding her (don't ask me how) and beginning to hop up and down with elation. One of Mr.Weasly's co-workers made a noise to grab his attention. "What?" Asked Mr.Weasly, who was now exasperated. His co-worker handed him the letter, he broke the seal upon it, and began to read. "Is either of you named Dara?" he asked. "That'd be me!" replied Dara cheerfully, happy she had learned the truth about magic and (so she thought) the fact that she had earned 1000 dollars. "And is the other Della?" "Yes," replied Della unenthusiastically, "why do you ask?" Mr.Weasly did not say anything, instead he handed them a letter that read:  
  
Della Deets and Dara ??????  
Gulligan Ave.  
The Men's bathroom.  
  
Dear Miss. Deets and Miss.????? We have received intelligence that you used an inter-dimension regurgitation spell on the toilets of Gulligan Ave. at thirty minutes past three o'clock.  
  
As you know, underage wizards and witches are not permittedpermitted to perform spells outside school. Your trial date will take place on the 28th of august, at 9:00at 9:00 am, upon loosing this trial, you will be expelled from your current wizardry school, and will serve a possible term in Azkaban (Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, Paragraph C.)  
  
Enjoy the rest of your Holiday!  
Yours sincerely,  
Mafalda Hopkirk  
Mafalda Hopkirk  
Improper use of Magic Office  
Ministry of Ma gic  
  
Della looked up from the odd letter to stare at the odd man who had given her it. "What does it mean?" She asked quietly, her voice quivering a little, she didn't know what Azkaban was, but she didn't like the sound of it. "What does it mean?" Mr. Weasly repeated his question in shock, "My God! Are you muggles?" Dara looked up from the beetle she had been watching scurry along the floor and answered his question with one of her own. "A what?" In her sudden moment of distraction, the beetle disappeared. "I suppose so.." Mr.Weasly muttered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dara screamed, she had just turned back to where her beetle had been, to find it had disappeared. 


End file.
